There truly are some dumb arses out there. Here is my list of dumbest criminals. Enjoy.
1 ) “Call Me!”
18 year old Ruben Zarate wanted to rob a muffler shop in Chicago and demanded money. Unfortunately it was mostly in the safe. Zarate decided that he would try again later. To save himself some time, he left his cell phone number with the store employees. That way, they could call him when the manager returned.
2) Fuller Proof Plan
Charles Ray Fuller, a Texas dumb arse tried to cash a bogus cheque for $360 BILLION. To top it off, the cheque wasn’t even made out to him. He was arrested on forgery charges and sentenced to a billion years in prison.
3) When You’re Ripped off, You’re Ripped off!
Hawthorne, Florida: Eloise Reaves, 50, stretched the limits of “to serve and protect” when she approached a policeman and asked him to help her get her money back for the poor-quality crack cocaine she’d just purchased. She showed him the crack, which she had tucked away in her mouth, and he placed her under arrest. The accused salesman was not charged. Worth a crack!
4) Fair Cop
A police impersonator in Dumfries, VA tried to pull over an off-duty officer, when the real cop informed the fake cop that he was a real cop (this is getting confusing) the fake cop ran away but was quickly apprehended and hauled off to a very real prison.
5) He May Get a Suspended Sentence.
John Pearce from Dartford, England, came to realize the hazards of daylight burglary when in the course of climbing through a window, his foot got caught in the window, leaving him dangling upside-down in plain sight of pedestrians walking down the busy sidewalk. Onlookers proceeded to mock him mercilessly until police arrived.
6) Driving Blind Drunk
Osternarke, Sweden: A 56-year-old woman’s boldly dumb defense in her trial for drunken driving was that the alcohol did not affect her driving because she kept one eye closed to avoid seeing double. She was sentenced to two months in prison.
7) ” So, He Didn’t Get the Job?”
Athens, Georgia: Demetrius Robinson, 28, wanted to rob a Golden Pantry store late one night, but he needed to pass the time as naturally as possible until he and the clerk were alone, so he decided to fill out a job application. Not a bad idea, except he left his real name on the application, along with his uncle’s phone number. After he robbed the store, it didn’t take long for police to track him down.
8) Fair Cop 2
Longmont, Colorado: Andrew Libby, 33, was arrested for impersonating a cop and demanding copies of pornographic movies from an adult video store. Claiming to be an “age verification detective,” Libby told the store’s employees that his job was to make sure the movies’ stars were at least 18 years old. The workers didn’t buy his story (his Fabio hair probably didn’t help).
9) He Obviously Needed Some Deutsch Courage.
Bendorf, Germany: A 27-year-old man arrived for his road driving test smelling of alcohol. Although he insisted to the instructor that he hadn’t had anything to drink, he proceeded to drive erratically, at which point the instructor directed him to pull into a parking lot…at a police station. The man was booked for driving with a blood-alcohol content of three times the legal limit. And he failed the test.
10) Throw Them in The Pen!
Before breaking into an apartment, Joey Miller and Matthew McNelly decided to put on disguises. And by disguises we mean they covered their faces in permanent marker. The thing about permanent marker is that… well it’s permanent. After the burglary, the pair was pulled over by police and immediately recognized because of their hair. Just kidding, it was their faces covered in permanent marker that set them apart from the crowd.
And that’s it! I hope you’ve enjoyed this list. Stay safe – HV