As many of you know, or if you are a fan of my blog have probably guessed, I am heavily Dyslexic. But what you may not know is that Dyslexia is not all about having difficulty with reading and writing. It actually has a massive impact on your verbal abilities along with other symptoms. This means that on many occasions I have found myself in embarrassing positions which I have dyslexia to thank. Here are just a few of those moments. Enjoy.
1) To earn some beer money in the summer I used to do a bit of gardening for some locals in my village. One day a couple brought out a coffee which was one of the best cups I have ever tasted. I asked them which brand it was and they explained that they pick up this Filipino coffee when they go abroad each month and offered to get some for me next time they were there. Being coffee fanatics themselves they asked me how I prefer to make my coffee at home and I explained that I use a catheter. Both of them gave me a confused look and asked how this works? I told them I was shocked that they hadn’t used a catheter before and mocked them slightly, but continued to say that I would love to own a percolator or a coffee machine but at least catheters are an easier and quicker way to get a coffee inside you when you’re rushing in the mornings. They seem to understand this but quickly changed the subject. It was later on that day I realised I wasn’t saying “cafetière.” I bet that couple to this day believe that I pour hot coffee in to my willy before I go to work.
2) When I was a kid my friend Chris came round and invited me to go out to play. Wanting to make sure that my mum knew where I was going, I left her a note. When she came home and read my message she almost went into hysteria. The note said;
“ Mum, I have gone with Christ.”
3) I needed a dehumidifier so popped to my local B&Q to buy one. After looking around with no luck I asked Customer Service. With a confused look on her face she told me that they had never sold them and that I would need to purchase one from a specialist. I explained to the girl that I had seen one online and that B&Q definitely sell dehumidifiers. She walked away to get her manager who approached me about a minute later to explain that they do not sell them and never have. I could feel myself getting angry as I knew their website definitely advertised dehumidifiers and I told him this as well as explaining that my friend had purchased one from them months earlier. The manager apologised but stuck to his guns. A few minutes went by and as I went to angrily walk away I stopped and cringed. Instead of saying “dehumidifier” I was asking them for a “defibrillator.” After a grovelling apology he pointed me in the right direction.
4) I sent out a rather important work email detailing strict instructions on how to go about something, emphasising the importance of the job. I finished the email by explaining that everybody needs to complete this anally.
Clearly wanting to type “annually” I wasn’t informed of this mistake until days later. I did wonder why nobody responded.
And that’s it! I have experienced many more embarrassing moments just like this but I will save them for another day. Stay Safe. HV